I know that it seems like all I write about are depressing things. I write about lots of problems. The reason for that is because IT IS OUR TRUTH. These are the things we are living through every day. It’s hard to see any positives in the face of so much adversity. I know it’s depressing to read all the negatives all the time but try living it. We don’t get to walk away. We don’t get a break, EVER. We are going to fail if we don’t get help. We are going to fall apart if we don’t get a break.
The point of this blog was to start the conversation by breaking the silence. Sharing the unedited truth is really the only thing I can do. I have lost almost all of my friends and a huge chuck of what was supposed to be family because no one understands.
I had hoped that along with me getting to vent that this blog would give some insight to my family as to what we are experiencing. I think it’s easier sometimes to just pretend we aren’t here. People go about their own lives as though we don’t exists. Maybe it’s just easier to assume I exaggerate or even make these things up, right. Don’t misunderstand me, no one owes us anything. At the same time family is supposed to be there when you need them. Despite all we have been through and everything we are continuing to go through we are always there to help. Many times we are the first ones everyone goes to when they need something. Sometimes we see that they need help and just offer without having to be asked because to me that’s what family does. . I guess it’s not fair to expect others to do what we would do. That said, some of my family have literally saved us at times by loaning us money and we are grateful for that. But we need your time.
The absolute truth is that we are drowning. Everyday it’s getting harder and harder to tread water. We get no sleep and no break. I’m the oldest of 6 and not one person actively seeks out any of our kids to spend time with. Our kids have no real relationship with my brothers and sisters. They live 10 minutes away and we never see them. I can’t even get people to respond to my texts. Being the oldest I have always been there for you guys. I need your help. Why will no one help us?
I know that some of the kids can be complicated and difficult to handle at times but they still need you ACTIVE in their lives. All I’m going to accomplish by this is getting it off my chest. Very few people in my family actually read this even though they all know it’s there. I want to move far away. Maybe then it wouldn’t hurt so much that we are alone. I could justify the lack of contact by saying to myself we live to far away otherwise they would be here.
Thank you for sharing our lives. LT
What you’re writing about is exactly what people need to read. They need to understand how difficult living with autism can be. It can be depressing to read about all the hard times people go through but that’s life; it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There are people that go through life pretending nothing is wrong because they can’t deal. That’s their issue and there isn’t much we can do about it. But there are also people that go through life not seeing what is wrong because they haven’t experienced it and no one ever told them what it’s like. And that’s what you’re doing now. You’re helping people understand and that will lead to more families getting the support they need. Hopefully your family will wake up one day soon and realize that they need to give you more support too.
May 30, 2010 at 6:53 pm
Thank you. You know I really hope that this helps someone. I have learned a lot about myself these past few months. I’ve also been frustrated with the lack of autism support in this country. My hope is sharing our lives both good and bad will open peoples eyes and heart to this problem. I know we are not alone. One thing we all have in common though is we feel like we are. To me that’s just sad. We are raising truly special but challenging kids and we need help from those around us.
Thank you for your post. It’s not always easy to write this blog because I open myself up and become vulnerable. In our lives it’s really hard to know what the right thing to do is. Sometimes it’s nice to know your doing the right thing.
Thank you so much….
May 30, 2010 at 9:08 pm